


Pas d'ici ni de là-bas non plus.

by fishandskygirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: James is confused, M/M, also if you like lily..just gloss over the single sentence mentioning her, sirius isnt entirely human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 12:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishandskygirl/pseuds/fishandskygirl
Summary: Sirius has enough. James may or may not have followed him





	Pas d'ici ni de là-bas non plus.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story ever and while I like the beginning I'm not sure about the end. And English isn't my first language. Also I wrote it on my phone so it's poorly edited I think

Sirius was hiding, perhaps, or maybe he was making a tactical retreat, or he had enough. Who could know but him why he was gone.  
There were times like this when he couldn’t cope anymore and disappeared for a few hours and then came back as if nothing ever happened. As if he hadn’t broken down crying; as if he hadn’t mourned what used to be his family; as if he hadn’t felt so so broken; as if he hadn’t looked at the tower’s bright, so bright, too bright window for far too long. He had a lot of different hiding places but his favourite was, by far the one he was currently dwelling in, the pool. 

No one knew that such a thing existed, not even the house-elf who knew everything in Hogwarts. (After all, there was a reason why the secret passageways in Hogwarts were in a pristine condition.) But when Sirius discovered this pool she was in a very neglected state.  
He suspected that this was because the pool was not really in Hogwarts, or perhaps to enter you needed to have a certain type of heritage or ancestry but he wasn’t sure.  
Sirius had restored the room with his bare hands and the occasional flick of a wand but he appreciated greatly the excuse to use his hands. He always felt better when he was doing some sort of manual work, it was in his nature. It was in those moments where he truly felt like himself. He didn’t remember who said this quote nor the exact wording but he thought that those words were particularly relevant for him:  
You can take the boy out of the house, but you can’t take the house out of the boy.  
Yes, he had been sorted in Gryffindor, but that didn’t make him less of a Black or less Slytherin raised. The fact was that he didn’t really like muggle clothes, and their style, which didn’t mean he hated them. One can appreciate any culture and their right to coexist peacefully with others while having absolutely no wants nor need to partake in it.

He was a Black this was true and he loved politics and their intriguing plot and the multitude ways one could advance in such circle. He felt truly alive when he was let loose in one of the pureblood gatherings and used his brains and his wits to their full capacity, shattering misplaced ego and arrogance. But alas, it was not meant to be, for he was sorted in Gryffindor and thus had to act like a blubbering fool else he would be committing social suicide. He had no backup, the Slytherin hated him and the Gryffindor barely tolerated him.  
He knew it, in the way they carefully watched him, waiting for him to fail, to show his so-called "true" nature, ready to pounce on him and shreds him to piece at the slightest perceived fault. He found himself looking at himself with them dissociating in a way. He remembered how he used to be.  
He remembered entering this foolish bargain with the hope of saving his family or at least a part of it, but now he knew that he would never save them nor survive through the war. It was depressing how much ready to die he was.  
Contrary to popular belief, Gryffindor had its rule and its unspoken code that everyone knew. Either your parent were former Gryffindor and so had taught it to you, just like his parent had done with him regarding Slytherin, or your friends told you or the upper years. But nobody told him anything. James... Sirius would rather believe that this never came to his mind then assume that he deliberately left him to the wolves but... He was left trying to figure it out. At first, he thought it was normal, he was still the enemy, but now in his fifth year, he knew he would never get accepted. 

He probably could try and ask James, or Prof McGonagall but he didn’t dare. Living with the doubt was better than knowing that they didn’t trust him, didn’t really thought him one of their own. Lupin couldn’t since his father had been a Ravenclaw, and Pettigrew was a disaster. Besides, he wasn't friends with them, Pettigrew because the boy was too clingy and was one of those types that goes to the highest power, and Lupin because he wasn’t sure if the only reason the boy accepted him was out of fears or duty since Sirius had no problem with him being a werewolf.  
It would have been hypocritical to have one, considering he wasn’t completely human either. 

Well to be fair, Remus was a human with lycanthropy, while he was a half-human. A half-elf half-human to be exact. Not like those from JR Tolkien or even the Norse mythology they were part of the true wielder of magic.Wizards came from the first interspecies marriage between humans and the true magical folks. That’s what he was, and with this heritage came a lot of burdens.  
Wizards had turned against them and certain magical being had decided that they would side with them and therefore be accepted by them. His family was part of those people. This was one of the reasons why his family fled from Japan to Korea and then England.  
The uprising of wizards didn’t work everywhere. In the country were catholicism was not known people had more respect for the supernatural and magical being, which led to the failure of those specific ungrateful wizards. His family, who had sided with those wizards was exiled.  
Funny, they considered themselves to be royalty but in fact, they were disgraced. He remembered when he was a kid, he used to have those dream of making peace, bringing his family honour back and living true to himself and who he was but look at him now: he usually kept his hair tightly braided and of course had a glamour on his ears and face to make it more human.  
His more accurate appearance was with long silky black hair, piercing pale grey eyes, porcelain white skin, an unnatural glow on his face and delicate long and very sensitive ears, and just like any elf left an impression that was quite strange and impossible to describe.

Unknown to him, his friend James, who usually was pretty oblivious to his wandering, had, this time, taken notice of his friend swift departure after a particularly nasty comment from one Lily Evans. He quickly rose and ran after his friend, but Sirius hadn’t heard him and unknowingly guided him in his haven. 

James was too busy being amazed at the beautiful design and overall grandiosity of the room to move out of the column behind which he was hidden and realize that his friend had started to undress. As James finally got over his amazement his gaze went to his friend, and he was stunned into silence.  
Sirius was unbraiding his hair, letting its true length to run freely on his back. The long silk-like black hair unbounded reached his mid-thighs, and with the play of the light, was creating a gorgeous portrait.  
The young man carefully folded his clothes and entered the pool, naked, letting the glamour fall. His long hair was cascading on his back and he went fully in the water. He relaxed in the hot water and, after a while, rose out of the water, taking his time to squeeze the water out of his hair.  
He carefully started drying, brushing and braiding his hair. The magnificent length quickly got hidden in the intricate and numerous braid that Sirius had woven like a tapestry on his scalp. He then expertly created the illusion of a very much shorter length. He swiftly dressed, reapplied the glamour and was about to quit the room when a voice was heard, breaking the silence

“ Sirius...”

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is interested in continuing that dumpster fire just tell me.


End file.
